If god didnt want me to beat people up, he wouldnt have made me so good at it.

 

oceanicsteam:

Here’s something to ponder, Rome’s direct takeover of Egypt(Augustus, Marc Antony, Cleopatra, all that fun stuff) is closer to us in terms of time than it was to the building of the pyramids at Giza. Egypt is fucking old.

Just saw how long it was I posted something, yikes ! Back now anyways with more fitness tips, also now working at bannatynes in Birmingham

so i got a job as a fitness instuctor, have started pt’ing, and am duty fitness manager while boss is away on holiday, all this with a month, fuck me is all i can say. on another note, we’ve started a staff powerlifting competition, hit deadlifts first, was an inch away from 130kg, but officaly im down as 120kg, fuck it gonna go straight for 140kg next time

Gym wanabes

So i had to teach my first class at the gym this week, and it turned out to be an ab attack class. Basicaly they rely on me having better abs than anyone who turns up to the class, i take them through a work out and those little lines on their stomachs become a little more visable. Thankfully no one with a full blown 6 pack turned up so it went as planned.

However it did make me start to watch people doing abs in the gym, and i have to say most of them dont have a fucking clue ! We have an ab crunch machine (totaly unnessessary for your abs but hey ho) and i was watching these two lads use it. They shoved 40kg on (rather heavy for skinny 19 yr olds) and did the first rep right, and then just rocked back and forth at the very bottom for every rep after. :s. Not a fucking clue. Same thing happend again where a guy was doing sit ups on a bench, but hed go half way back down and then straight back up.

When you do ANY exercise, the point where your muscle actualy works most is the intial activation, so for your abs when your back is arched as if your stretching your stomach or yawning. Sure holding the weight in place does a bit but its useless compared to intial activation. When you pick up a weight, put it down before you start the second rep, or your just wasting your time. Form people !

Because a man needs mead

Because a man needs mead

Mead brandy, got another 3 gallons filtering right now, viking power

Mead brandy, got another 3 gallons filtering right now, viking power

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......

Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...

A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.

Homestuck: You have 2 cows. Both are killed multiple times and ascend to Cow-Tier.